Minding my Own Biz

I was talking to one of my sisters yesterday about an inner-familial problem, and she cut me off right at the beginning. "Why are you even in this? How is this your business?"  Whoa.  Slow down there.  Not my business?  But, but, but. OK, it's really not my business.  Damn. At some point in my life I designated myself Captain Save a Ho. If someone has a problem, and I know about it, I consider it my life's goal to fix that problem if I can.  And if I can't fix it, I at least offer my ass kicking services. As I grow older, I've managed to stay out of other people's problems both because of lack of proximity (I'm just not paying as close of attention), and I'm too busy solving the problems of my kids, my partner, myself, my dogs.  A Captain gets busy.

I remember when my ten year old told me about a friend she was having a problem with, and I immediately started my plotting about what we (I) were going to do about this problem.  "Mama," my daughter said, "Can I just solve this one myself? I mean, I'm ten years old. If I can't solve it, then you can step in."  The speech had the smack of being rehearsed-- she'd been working on this one.  It felt like I had just gotten all suited up in my Roman armor, my shield, my sword, my horse, and somebody said, "Hey, you know what, how about we don't conquer that country? What if we just stayed home?" I was all dressed up for a violent overtaking, and the violence got canceled.  I'm still kind of upset.

Luckily, my younger daughter doesn't mind it when I get involved.  "What do you do if a boy hits you?" I ask her. "Call Mama," she responds.  Mama will handle this. Someone once told me that you can't go in front of your children, protecting them from everything. First, it's impossible.  Second, it's not good for them.  I know that's true.  But, but, but. My job is to be there as a sounding board, to offer advice, but to stay off the field.  That's hard, especially when the advice I want to give is "Who needs friends? Screw friends-- you can hang out with me!" I am the mother who shows up at every game.  If my kid gets hurt, I'm there before the coach.  If they hit the winning run, I meet them at the plate.  I once jumped up and down screaming "Safe! She's safe! Ha!" at a five year old catcher when my daughter crossed home plate just seconds before the little girl picked the ball up.  It took me a few seconds to notice everyone staring at me.

So I'm working on minding my own business.  And when I don't have any? I guess I'll have to make some.